Blonde Jokes
1. How can you tell a blonde has been at a computer? -There's cheese in front of the mouse.
2. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common? -You always hear about them but never see them.
3. What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? -"Is it mine?"
4. Did you hear about the blonde who got locked in the bathroom? -She was in there so long, she wet her pants.
5. What do you call eight blondes in a freezer? -Frosted flakes.
6. The easter bunny, santa clause, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde are all walking in a maze to get the $100 in the middle, who gets it first? -the dumb blonde, there's no such thing as the rest of them.
7. What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? -They're both empty from the neck up
8. Why does the blonde have 2 brain cells? -because she's pregnant!!
9. How do you make a blonde laugh on Wednesday? -tell her a joke on Monday.
10. How does a blonde kill a fish? -she drowns it.
11. What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? -pick it up, pull the pin out, and throw it back.
12. What is a blonde doing when she is holding her hands over her ears tightly? -trying to hold onto a thought.
13. Why did a blonde stare at a orange juice container for hours? -because it said "concentrate."
14. Why did the blonde put her hand over the nail while hammering? -the noise gave her a headache.
15. Why did the blonde climb on the roof of a bar? -she heard drinks were on the house.
16. How do you get a 1-armed blond out of the tree? -wave to her.
17. A blonde walks into a electronic store, and ask the buy the TV behind the clerk. The clerk sais it's not for sale. But she thinks it's because shes blonde, so the next day, she comes with a black wig, and ask the same question. He again sais, not for sale. So the next day, she comes with a brunette wig, and she asks him to buy the TV. Finally, the man sais, i know your the same blonde from the previous 2 days. She asks, how do you know?. He responds, "because it's not a t.v., its a microwave."
2. What do smart blondes and UFO's have in common? -You always hear about them but never see them.
3. What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? -"Is it mine?"
4. Did you hear about the blonde who got locked in the bathroom? -She was in there so long, she wet her pants.
5. What do you call eight blondes in a freezer? -Frosted flakes.
6. The easter bunny, santa clause, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde are all walking in a maze to get the $100 in the middle, who gets it first? -the dumb blonde, there's no such thing as the rest of them.
7. What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? -They're both empty from the neck up
8. Why does the blonde have 2 brain cells? -because she's pregnant!!
9. How do you make a blonde laugh on Wednesday? -tell her a joke on Monday.
10. How does a blonde kill a fish? -she drowns it.
11. What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? -pick it up, pull the pin out, and throw it back.
12. What is a blonde doing when she is holding her hands over her ears tightly? -trying to hold onto a thought.
13. Why did a blonde stare at a orange juice container for hours? -because it said "concentrate."
14. Why did the blonde put her hand over the nail while hammering? -the noise gave her a headache.
15. Why did the blonde climb on the roof of a bar? -she heard drinks were on the house.
16. How do you get a 1-armed blond out of the tree? -wave to her.
17. A blonde walks into a electronic store, and ask the buy the TV behind the clerk. The clerk sais it's not for sale. But she thinks it's because shes blonde, so the next day, she comes with a black wig, and ask the same question. He again sais, not for sale. So the next day, she comes with a brunette wig, and she asks him to buy the TV. Finally, the man sais, i know your the same blonde from the previous 2 days. She asks, how do you know?. He responds, "because it's not a t.v., its a microwave."
